It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
