Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
