Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
