I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
