my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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