Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
