yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
