I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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