took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize