The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
