Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
