ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the condom got lost in my hair
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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