Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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