The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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