She said her name was "party"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
