The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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