Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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