Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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