why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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