I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
