Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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