Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
