pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize