I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
