He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
