Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
