I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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