ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
