I'm really into asian looking animals
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
