Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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