i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
