Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
