did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
