My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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