Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
farters have to be the big spoon...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
