Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She's the barista slut.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
