so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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