Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
