So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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