That's when you crack a 10am beer
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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