I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
