Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
