She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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