Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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