garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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