so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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