I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
