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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  ambylanc

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  what?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.

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• (831): View more from California

  She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how don't worse things happen to you?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.

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