i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.