Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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  (202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i
  Replies (27) Good night (1442) Bad night (485)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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  (417): You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!" http://tfl.nu/8q6j
  Replies (6) Good night (2684) Bad night (833)
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  (510): View more from California

  You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.

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  (510): You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen. http://tfl.nu/ldf9
  Replies (20) Good night (1197) Bad night (7411)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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  (817): he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him. http://tfl.nu/kyym
  Replies (29) Good night (4306) Bad night (1584)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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  (513): you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/7jk8
  Replies (21) Good night (6243) Bad night (807)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3854) Bad night (916)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.

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  (864): so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence. http://tfl.nu/nvim
  Replies (20) Good night (7740) Bad night (1045)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.

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  (509): I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact. http://tfl.nu/tkeu
  Replies (35) Good night (1205) Bad night (3971)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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  (404): Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right? http://tfl.nu/zhkv
  Replies (7) Good night (2747) Bad night (843)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

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  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (1823)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.

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  (250): well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves. http://tfl.nu/btjv
  Replies (14) Good night (1352) Bad night (2032)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.

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  (403): I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/fqiq
  Replies (6) Good night (2529) Bad night (958)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

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  (702): He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking. http://tfl.nu/611y
  Replies (4) Good night (441) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.

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  (613): You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night. http://tfl.nu/z5vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much

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  (856): i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much http://tfl.nu/7v7v
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (211)

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