Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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