Just fell off a train. Bad.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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