Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
