Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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