I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize