I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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