Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
