Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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