what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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