i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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